


Blessings From Our Fathers

by VenusGiftofDesire (SirenaVoyager)



Series: Kathryn Janeway & Chakotay - Tales of Love & Sex [4]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Crying, Dacryphilia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erotica, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Romance, Sex, Tears, pre-wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 02:08:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21659755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirenaVoyager/pseuds/VenusGiftofDesire
Summary: It is only a week before she finally marries Chakotay, and Kathryn wishes her father was here to walk her down the aisle.Originally part of my Kinktober 2019 Challenge. Prompt: Crying (Dacryphilia).Meant as to highlight tears as an emotional release for healing rather than a fetish.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Series: Kathryn Janeway & Chakotay - Tales of Love & Sex [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561489
Kudos: 13





	Blessings From Our Fathers

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [(Paint My World With) The Colors of Kink](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16152416) by [BlackVelvet42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVelvet42/pseuds/BlackVelvet42). 
  * Inspired by [Kinktober 2018](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16154591) by [Killermanatee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killermanatee/pseuds/Killermanatee). 



> Star Trek: Voyager and all its characters created by Rick Berman, Michael Piller, and Jeri Taylor. Based upon "Star Trek" created by Gene Roddenberry. Copyright goes to Paramount Studios and CBS Television Distribution.
> 
> A/N: The intent behind this story is not to fetishize the act of crying (even though dacryphilia is an officially recognized fetish), but to highlight how tears can be a cleanser for the soul because it releases all the negative feelings inside. Hey, even big, strong men like Chakotay have a right to cry (and he did in "Coda")!
> 
> Work is unbeta'd.

Many girls and women dream of their fathers walking them down the aisle on their wedding day, sharing the moment they have before he gives her away to the man she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with in hopes that she will be happy, and eventually bear the grandchildren he longs for.

For Kathryn Janeway, however, that is not going to happen. 

It has been over two decades since her father’s death, yet she grieves for him more than ever. It is only a week before she and Chakotay officially marry, and she wishes that her father could have lived to see his daughter in the lovely wedding gown she picked out with her mother and sister.

Of course, she grieves for her first fiancé, as well, but she has accepted his death so she could move on with her life. And she has long accepted her loss of a chance of a life with Mark, knowing full well that things would never be the same after all she went through during _Voyager_ ’s journey through the Delta Quadrant. She can’t help but wonder what would have happened if her life with each man turned out differently, but in hindsight, had they not happened, she would not be here with the desire to make Chakotay her husband.

Lying sideways on their bed, Kathryn shudders as she clings to her pillow tightly. The array of “what ifs” and “what wouldn’t have beens” entangle themselves in her mind; she is more than grateful for all that she has today, but she can’t help but wish her father would be here to celebrate this new chapter in her life. She feels her tears forming behind her closed eyes and does nothing to stop them from flowing down her cheeks.

“Kathryn,” Chakotay calls out from the living area, the doors signaling his arrival, “Are you in here?”

“Yes,” she calls back, not looking up.

Chakotay approaches the bedroom. “Oh, you’re in bed already? I thought you and Seven were going over what she should do as a bridesmaid.”

Kathryn nods, “We did. She’s a quick study. And, as you know, she’s very excited to be a part of the wedding.”

Before he can say something else, she chokes back a sob and sniffles. He begins to worry. “Is something wrong?”

“Hmm?” Kathryn turns over and faces him. “No, it’s just… I was just thinking… I don’t know…”

Chakotay sits on the bed next to her. “What’s on your mind? I know you’re nervous about the wedding. So am I.”

"It's not so much that," she reaches out for his hand, which he graciously accepts, “I was thinking about my father.”

He nods in understanding. “Ah, I remember you telling me about him.”

“It’s been over two decades since I lost him and Justin in the shuttle crash on Tau Ceti Prime, and while I’ve long accepted the fact that Justin is gone, I just…” Kathryn chokes another sob as fresh tears flow.

“Yes?” He patiently encourages her to open up about her deeper feelings, something he knows is always a challenge for her.

“I don’t know why I feel this way now, but I wish my father was here.”

“You wish he was here to give you away? Father of the bride?”

She nods sadly, “I know it’s silly to think about this now, but—”

“Kathryn, no, it’s not silly at all,” Chakotay states, “What you’re feeling right now is normal for anyone who has lost their father. You loved him very much, and you miss him.”

“Right.” 

“And I must admit, sometimes I wonder how I would’ve gotten along with him if we had met.” He chuckles self-depreciatingly, “I bet his idea of a groom for you wasn’t a rogue Maquis Indian hellbent on making the Cardassians and the Federation pay for the destruction of his homeland.”

Kathryn looks up at him, eyes shining with sympathy. “Oh, no, don’t say that. I’m sure he would’ve understood your reasons for leaving Starfleet; he didn’t like the Cardassians any more than the Maquis did, especially after what I went through with them.”

“I can only hope so,” Chakotay solemnly agreed. He raises her hand to his lips, kissing it.

“What about your father?” Kathryn asks hesitantly, “Do you wish he could be here today?

Chakotay sighs as he finds a way to answer her. “Sometimes I wish that he were still alive so I could finally mend the bridge between us. And I’m sure, despite his traditional mindset, he would’ve adored you as much as my mother and sister do.”

Kathryn is touched, “You think so?”

Chakotay chuckles as he feels tears forming in his own eyes. “Knowing your insatiable curiosity, I’m sure you would be asking him a lot of questions about our tribe and the history behind it. Plus, even though he was a strong believer in the Sky Spirits, he also believed in the story of the Sea Spirits, more than he would ever let on. I know, because my mother believed in it, and he loved her enough to keep an open mind about her views and opinions.”

“He would have to, considering I was one of them for a while,” she smirks, remembering her adventure with the mermaid-like Sea-Dwellers of Triterra during _Voyager_ ’s third year in the Delta Quadrant.

Chakotay smirks back, but the tear that falls down his cheek displays an undercurrent of sadness. Kathryn notices this. “You miss him too, I bet.”

“Very much,” he replied. “It’s times like this that I deeply regret not reconciling with him and letting my anger and discontent get in our way. He was so set in his ways, that he couldn’t fully understand my desire to leave the tribe and explore the galaxy. And he flat out refused to leave the colonies after the treaty with the Cardassians was signed, and although it was noble of him to want to defend the colony to the death, I was so angry with him because I knew—” he stops himself before he can go on another useless tirade.

He takes a minute to gather his emotions together before he speaks again. “I think above all, I wish I could’ve told him how much I love him in spite of our differences. I’ve told him that in my spirit quests, but it’s not the same as actually saying it to him.”

“I know what you mean,” Kathryn softly assures as she sits up. She takes Chakotay’s face in between her palms. “But somehow, I believe he understands your feelings. And he forgives you.”

Fresh tears well in both their eyes as he pulls her into a tight embrace. “And I forgive him,” he shudders.

For a few moments, no words are spoken as the two lovers indulge in the comfort they are able to give one another. Then Chakotay speaks, “As hard as it was for us both to lose our fathers, I think, in a way, if things hadn’t turned out the way they did, we wouldn’t be here now.”

She pulls back to look him in the eye. “What do you mean?”

Chakotay’s expression grows serious, “I’m inclined to believe that after our fathers died, they knew that we would lose sight of who we are and who we want to be as human beings if we continued to struggle through life alone. Maybe to them, the Caretaker was supposed to bring us together.”

Kathryn’s brow furrows in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“Our entire journey through the Delta Quadrant was difficult and often treacherous, that I certainly don’t deny, especially when I think about the lives lost along the way. But what I’m saying is that, it helped our entire crew grow as individuals and forge bonds that will last a lifetime that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.”

“That’s true,” she nods somberly.

“And most importantly,” he continues, “By serving under your command and earning your trust and friendship, I was able to find the peace I never knew I had within myself.” He blinks as new tears streak down his face. “Meeting you was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me, and I believe both of our fathers wanted us to help each other not just in the line of duty, but in our lives as well. For me, the reason I was able to make it through seven years in the Delta Quadrant was because of you. It was _you_ , Kathryn. And that’s why I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.”

Kathryn’s heart swells with unbridled joy and she begins to cry all over again. “You have no idea how happy what you’re saying makes me. Destroying the array was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I have to live with the consequences of that choice and all the choices that came with it for the rest of my life. But a small part of me cherishes all the good times we’ve had just as much as everyone else does. And I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

She pulls him to her and kisses him fervently, sobbing into his mouth. Chakotay lowers her to the bed and runs his hands through her hair. Desperate to feel more of him, she tugs at his uniform jacket. He rises to discard the jacket and his shirts before unzipping his pants and kicking off his boots.

Kathryn pulls her legs out from under him and places them on either side of his body, hiking the hem of her nightgown up to her waist and baring herself to him. Once he is completely nude, his erection standing tall and proud, he settles himself above her and eases inside her.

Gasping at the heavenly sensation, Kathryn wraps her arms around Chakotay's back. They look into each other’s tear-filled eyes as they slowly climb the mountain to the peak of ecstasy. She sobs in passion as her pleasure swells within her until the climax washes over her, taking him with her.

Sated in body and soul, the soon-to-be married couple drift off into a peaceful slumber in each other’s arms, comforted by the knowledge that somewhere, somehow, their fathers are bestowing their blessings.


End file.
